THE INTENTION OF
THIS POST IS TO SHARE INFORMATION FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL PEOPLE.PLEASE
SHARE IT WITH YOUR RELATIVES AND FRIENDS.MAYBE IT WILL HELP SOMEBODY.ITS SADAQA
JAARIYAH TO SPREAD KNOWLEDGE WHICH HELPS OTHERS..
HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES :
Zaynab Chinoy serves as Chief Editor and Head of the Research and Content Department at ProductiveMuslim. She read law at the International Islamic University in Malaysia, and publishes her reflections on life on her personal blog: ZaynabChinoy.com.
Every marriage is made up of two unique people of opposite genders. That’s why, what works for one couple may not necessarily work in your marriage, because you and your spouse are different people altogether with different preferences, priorities and circumstances. For this reason, generally accepted theories that may apply to many marriages may not apply to many others because different people are different. And happy Muslim couples have this figured out. It is extremely crucial for the health of your marriage that you sit down with your spouse and figure out what is important to them, and how they’ve always expected you to fulfill those needs for them.
If there is one fundamental need that exists in every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and appreciated. And there is no other relationship where this need is as grossly overlooked and abused, as in marriage. Why does this happen? Is it because humans tend to take things for granted, especially when they’re done by those closest to them?
our spouse has loved you for Allah’s sake every time they have:
· stopped you from harboring suspicions or ill-will (about your boss or competitor or any other annoying person in your life)
· stopped you from backbiting (about your friends, colleagues, in-laws (ahem))
· helped you be more kind and gentle in your speech and manners (to helpers, waiters, laborers, siblings, elders and children)
· helped you fulfill people’s trusts (by encouraging you to get to work on time and do the best at your job, to pay off your debts, to keep people’s secrets)
· helped you be more honest with yourself or to others
· helped you forgive someone and overlook their faults
· helped you become more generous or less extravagant
· helped you recognize and overcome the weaknesses of your inner self
What is not there to thank your spouse for? Here are 5 reasons to thank your spouse right now:
1. For providing you a roof to live under/for making a home out of your house
2. For buying you clothes to wear/for making sure you have clean clothes to wear everyday
3. For buying you the food you eat everyday/for making delicious meals for you everyday
4. For being there to take you where you need to go/for being there to take care of the house when you’re away
5. For coming back home to you every evening/for being the person you can come home to everyday
How many times have our egos stopped us from acknowledging and appreciating our spouses? How many times have we denied all the good they’ve done for us through a single word or sentence in the middle of a senseless argument? Every conflict left unresolved, every hurtful word exchanged and every baseless complaint is a refusal to value one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse. It is a denial of a favor Allah 
has blessed us with
Couples that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone. And as our beloved Aisha 
put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage. Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict.
the truth is: both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction. When wives get snappy and say mean things to their spouses, husbands do feel hurt and unloved; and when husbands are rude and hurl insults at their spouses, wives do feel humiliated and disrespected. When a woman’s physical desires are consistently dismissed or left half-fulfilled, she feels as frustrated as a man in such situations does; and when a man never hears any words of appreciation or admiration, he feels as underappreciated and unvalued as a woman in these situations does.
You are the only man/woman your spouse is allowed to look at from head to toe, so please don’t be an eye sore! Yes, make this your mantra. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as important (and as easy) as everything else you do everyday like eating or sleeping.
Don’t stop your spouse from being kind and loving to their parents, don’t stop them from being helpful towards their colleagues and relatives, don’t make them cut ties that you know they should keep, don’t compel them to bottle up their talents when you know their skills can be used in a halal way to bring about a lot of good, don’t control their every relationship and acquaintance with other people like an air-traffic controller, don’t bark orders and rules and taunts at them at every opportunity: don’t make your spouse wither into a dull, lifeless, thorny, poisonous weed; because that is not what Allah 
created them to be – that’s what control freaks make out of the people they live with.
Make time for each other. there’s just no excuse not to give at least half an hour (okay, 15 minutes when you’re just too exhausted) of undivided attention and love to your spouse.
Muslim couples today are actually serving their marriages on exquisitely decorated social media platters for the evil eye to devour: not just the ceremony, but every single verbal and non-verbal marital exchange, meal, meeting, moment, mood and micro-second!
The Prophet 
said:
Not putting your marriage in the way of the evil eye is the first way of protecting it from its harm. Reading the morning and evening adhkar, the duas prescribed for protection against the evil eye as well as constantly thanking Allah 
for your marriage and your spouse fortifies this protection immensely.
Here’s how to protect your marriage from the shaytan:
· Read the mu’awwadhatayn (Surat Al-Falaq and Surat An-Nas) and morning and evening adhkar daily.
· If your spouse is behaving in a way or saying things they normally don’t, politely say: “honey, let’s not let the shaytan get to us.” This is a tried and tested way to defuse a senseless argument before it starts.
· If you find yourself starting to get angry, seek refuge in Allah 
from the shaytan immediately.
· If you hear anything negative about your spouse from anyone, examine the words for signs of shaytan’s whispers and traps. If there’s anything that may cause you to have even the slightest ill-feeling or resentment towards your spouse, consciously recall all the good in your spouse and compare it to what’s being said about them: you’ll see the false/irrelevant claims quickly dissipating.
There isn’t a single marriage where there isn’t any conflict or disagreement of some sort or degree. It is only the way in which conflicts are managed that distinguishes the health of one marriage from the other.
APPRECIATE YOUR WIFE ALWAYS!
You never know how much effort she exerts just to please you always! You never know how much she thinks of you whenever she is doing something special for you. So once again, appreciate your wife always as possible!.
She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me
and cleaning the dishes,cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.
Whom do you think works more, from the story above???The daily
routines of your wives commence fromearly morning to late night.
That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!
Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High
Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!
Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable.
This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand
and appreciate each others role.
A husband is the soulmate for his wife. He listens patiently when she's upset and holds her when she cries. He sometimes teases her affectionately. He is not just a lover, he is her best friend, someone she trusts unconditionally, someone she loves absolutely. Someone who can instantly put a smile on her face when she's having a bad day. Someone she can pray behind because there is nothing more romantic and more tender and more loving and more endearing than a married couple praying and making dua together. May Allah SWT bless all marriages!
They'll be times when you'll get tired and they'll be times when you'll be in pain but your reward is with Allah. That is why a mother's status in Islam is so precious and hey fathers to be, a message for you guys too Make sure you look after your wives, massage their feet when they're tired, cook them dinner, help out around the house. Work as a team and watch Allah increase your love.
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]
al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.
The wife is financially independent from the husband. Islam has protected woman’s independent personality and ensured her full capability to be financially independent from her husband. Muslim women have the right to earn money, own property, to enter into legal contracts and to manage all of her assets in any way she pleases. She can run her own business and no one has any claim on her earnings including her husband. The Quran states: "and in no wise covet those things in which Allah hath bestowed his gifts more freely on some of you than on others: to men is allotted what they earn and to woman what they earn: but ask Allah of his bounty for Allah hath full knowledge of all things." (4:32). The woman has the right to work provided that her work does not make her ignore her main job as a wife and a mother. if she has the skills to work outside the home for the good of the community, she may do so as long as her family obligations are met.
Lots of Muslim women worked in the time of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, some even fought with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in wars like Umm Umara, may Allah be pleased with her, who fought with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in the battle of Uhud. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was encouraging her during the fight and would tell her : “Who could endure what you endure Umm Umara”
During the time of Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, a lady, Al Shafa bint Abdullah Ibn abd-Shams, was assigned the position of official business transactor/manager of the market of Medina...
The husband is financially fully responsible for his wife. Poor or rich, her living costs are estimated in proportion to her husband's financial ability. The Qur'an puts it thus:" Let the rich man spend according to his means". (Surah 65:7).
He is obliged to provide her with food, clothes, a place to live and medical treatment according to his environment, conditions and income. Muslim scholars said that if a man does not support his wife financially then she has the right for a divorce.
The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.
It is important that a wife recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. He is the head of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. But the husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness towards his wife. If there arises any disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. Spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.
12 Rights of a Muslim Wife upon Her Husband
1. To spend upon her, to feed her. Not to be excessive in this and not to be stingy.
2. To be kind to her. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.”
3. Not to harm her.
4. To be loving to her,
5. That the men must not curse or swear at his wife, or insult her appearance.
6. A man must not boycott her and if he does (for a valid reason) he should do it inside of the home.
7. A man should not expose the secrets of his wife “Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.” [Muslim, Ibn Abee Shaybah, Ahmad and others].
8. A man should not hate his wife. Exalt the good and minimise her shortcomings. A man should not be angry at her faults and should look at her good. To look only good in her.
9. That he should make things easy upon her e.g. The chores and what he requires from her.
10. He should have the best manners with his wife. His wife should see the best of his manners. It is said that some men have the best manners out in the market , but when he goes home he is a ferocious lion! Kind to strange women in the markets but not to his wife in the home. The best of you are the best of you to your wives. There is no good in you if you want to help your friends but not your wife, there is no good in you if you are kind to your friends and not your wife. Combine the two , and that is good.
11. That the husband should be a reason for his wife to be saved from the hellfire. He should teach her and order her to forbid the evil and enjoy the good. Forbidding her from that which will lead to hell fire. O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed]angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.
12. That the man should have some type of jealousy for his wife. Jealousy of protecting her from evil, not for her to be exposed to strange men , not for her to speak to strange men etc. but not the abusive jealousy…
LIFE STARTS AFTER FORTY:
Good married life is like aged wine. It gets better with the age of the relationship and practice. As the man begins to understand his woman, and the woman also understands her man. Girls, guide him,tell him what you want.The key is woman taking the initiative. In other words, you need to kiss your husband first before he gets a chance to kiss you..A woman's largest erogenous zone is her mind, She wants passion, Effort, Attention from you.Tell her clearly You love her.
